To Not Be A Mother

Recently, I read a post on Guardian about coming to terms with not being a mother. I must say that it touched me a lot. I am a mother, so I may not properly understand what it is to be not able to become one. All my life I had never even thought about such a scenario. Never ever can I imagine the pain and suffering people go through in this situation.

The writing shook me and pained me.I realised I may also be one of those people who might have hurt other women like her in similar manner. She talks about how she was avoided by her own friend's for parties because she was not a mother.The way that her friend's  This made me realise that being a women is quite a difficult task. Society demands us to be a Mother. It feels like it is the sole purpose of our lives. Maybe somewhere we all are responsible for this. It's a demand that is installed on our system the moment we become women. Our life seems to be revolving around motherhood. Once you get married, you cannot escape it. It is as if our very own existence relies on the fact of being a Mother.

Even on married friend's group the talks always centres kids. That is so frustrating. Is it the only thing that matters in our life. Aren't there any other matters that are equally important. I now understand how difficult it is for a women to live in the world , if she has not gone through motherhood. Even in today's progressive world, women cannot escape the questioning of her fertility. Her life seems to be unworthy for other's who judge her for not being a mother. The pain and agony that this inflicts on her heart is invisible to our eye.

We all have a friend who goes through this depressed state. But have we ever known the pain of her. I am sorry,we did not. I feel ashamed. How can we ever do this. I too am a woman . We are the ones who pains the most , knowingly or unknowingly. We judge others who are not us. It's because there is an assumption that the only truly worthwhile job that a woman can do is to raise children.Women are divided in two: Mother's and Child-free. 

According to a recent study a fifth in women cannot be a mother. So you see there are many out there who are going through this difficult time. They do not need our sympathy. What they require is our understanding and support. A strength that enables them to fight the world. What they need is to be respected for the person she is. Not for what she cannot become. There are many warriors out there,constantly fighting with people trying to demean them for something which is not their fault .

 Too often,women who are Child-free by circumstance are left with the sense of not having a proper life. And any women who are Child-free by choice find themselves vilified as heartless,selfish types lacking some vital quality that would make them "real" women

Women need to become a more supportive bunch to survive in this era of mommy community era ! It's time to show how much there is to offer and that there is meaning in life. It's time to raise your voice .