Who Am I???

You all must be wondering what happened. Am I all right. Have I gone completely nuts. Maybe, I am nuts, to ask this. But it is a serious question that has been playing on and on in my mind for quite a few days. Now, please do not bring upon the philosophical answers . I am in no mood to entertain them. I do not mind a philosophical outlook into life. In fact I am a person who loves some sort of philosophy in my life. Well, we can discuss about that some other time. Coming back to my question: Who Am I?

Am I a first a Wife or a Mother or a Daughter. Well, I think the last part"daughter"has already been cleared by society as my last role. So only confusion between Wife and Mother. Are both equal or is one greater than the other. Many days I am Both. It's like dividing yourself into two parts. There are so many sub-parts too, but do not think I need to elaborate that. So, here am I, a warrior dressed in a chariot, waking up before the sun,strolling to my battlefield with knives,spoons,khatori and brooms.
Well some might call as multi-tasker super Mom, which I definitely do not feel.

But what about the person inside of you. That person, who loves to read a book in a peaceful evening with a cup of coffee on her side. That person, who loves to wander into places unknown. That person,who loves to see late night films. That person who loves to just gaze into the stars at night, that person who loves to write long and deep. More specifically, that person who loves to have long meaningful conversations with virtually anyone. I miss her.

Morning Blues

Every day the alarm goes off, I wake up and goes direct to the kitchen to start the morning chores. This morning was different. As I lay on my bed contemplating to get up, I felt so disturbed. The way my day  happens  was playing clearly on my mind. Same activities, same timings. Such a boring life, I thought. With a kid and as a part time working Mom , my days are hectic. But that's it. There is no change.

I got up , opened the door to my balcony and just stood there,in that silence. It was so peaceful. I could see the birds, the distant lights, the wind kissing the tress, the waves of the sea. So many sounds, but so little noises. Peaceful and quiet. My heart felt light and warm. Something was lifted off my chest. It was as if I had been dissolved in to that moment. It was still. I was still. I could feel the blood in my veins. I could hear my heart beats. So wonderful and joyful. The distant rays of the rising sun ,touching every object in its path. The cold wind playing with my hairs. I just stood there and forgot myself. Forgot that I have tonnes to do. I let myself to be lost in that world.I loved it.

The temple songs woke me up from my trance. It's 4:45. Half an hour had passed. I slowly walked into the kitchen. Normally, I would be rushing, but today I was calm and peaceful. Never had felt this energy, ever before in my life. So my friends, whenever needed , find a little time for yourself. Let yourselves be free. We need it. We all need it. Love you all.