I know I should not write this...
It has been a long time since I had sat down to write my words. These days all there is in my life is a constant sense of stagnation. More, precisely,you could say lack of interest in the daily stuffs. Even on the work part, which can be really dangerous,LOL!!
So, what made me to sit up late into this night and suddenly come to blog... This wonderful feeling to put my thoughts into words, just came out so powerfully that there is no way I can hold back. Being a person, who rarely displays their true emotions, sometimes becomes so over whelmed in such a way that one should just pour it out. I am as cold as stone, who clearly do not know how to show affections and lately this has been greatly challenged. I really do admire people who clearly express what they want. Maybe, it was the way I have grown up that made it real hard for me to let out myself. From being a child and growing up, never have I ever clearly stated my likes and dislikes to anyone, not even to my Mother. Maybe because I felt my opinions didn't matter or because I felt that you just do not belong there. That sense of not belonging has been with me for a long time, that one can just never be over with it.
Realizations come pretty quick these days, especially when you are just hit with it on your face.It has not been easy when other's assume what you really want.You can say, it goes something like, "Hey!! I don't give a damn". Yes, it can be me or you can may be , but lately this attitude has indeed created a very dangerous aura that scares people away (which needs to be verified time to time). So , here I am trying to clear it off within myself (even when there are two birds who shouts "Hell No! You are not so").
It is just so depressing to come to a conclusion on how stubborn I am to others and most importantly to myself. Nevertheless, it also clearly make me assure that I truly understand who am I. It sounds exaggerated, fake and idiotic, all the while it is also the truth.
So, what made me to sit up late into this night and suddenly come to blog... This wonderful feeling to put my thoughts into words, just came out so powerfully that there is no way I can hold back. Being a person, who rarely displays their true emotions, sometimes becomes so over whelmed in such a way that one should just pour it out. I am as cold as stone, who clearly do not know how to show affections and lately this has been greatly challenged. I really do admire people who clearly express what they want. Maybe, it was the way I have grown up that made it real hard for me to let out myself. From being a child and growing up, never have I ever clearly stated my likes and dislikes to anyone, not even to my Mother. Maybe because I felt my opinions didn't matter or because I felt that you just do not belong there. That sense of not belonging has been with me for a long time, that one can just never be over with it.
Realizations come pretty quick these days, especially when you are just hit with it on your face.It has not been easy when other's assume what you really want.You can say, it goes something like, "Hey!! I don't give a damn". Yes, it can be me or you can may be , but lately this attitude has indeed created a very dangerous aura that scares people away (which needs to be verified time to time). So , here I am trying to clear it off within myself (even when there are two birds who shouts "Hell No! You are not so").
It is just so depressing to come to a conclusion on how stubborn I am to others and most importantly to myself. Nevertheless, it also clearly make me assure that I truly understand who am I. It sounds exaggerated, fake and idiotic, all the while it is also the truth.
hey, never imagined my dear to write so strong.. Thank you so much. And i must ask, who gave you the inspiration :D. What r u guys doing behind my back... keep goingggg...
ReplyDelete