In Search of my Mind
This topic may raise quite a few eyebrows. You may think, I have taken a new interest in philosophical existence. Well, of course I love philosophy, but this has nothing to do with it. Or you can say, this topic has nothing to do with the main stream philosophies. It is something that I always think about. What exactly do I need? What is it that I am lacking. It has been quite some time that I have been thinking about it.
There was a period in my life where everything was stagnant. Yes, you were living but not living a life. On those days, I always contemplate about the effects of up-bringing on a person's life. I don't believe in perfect childhood, maybe because mine was not. I know that I used to envy other kids, when I see them enjoying things which I never had. Later, I came to understand that ,it's not necessary to have a perfect childhood. What you need is an understanding of why it so happened. I knew I had to change for the better.
That is where my quest to find myself began. I have written a lot during my school days, but I always lacked the courage to show it to others. There was a sense of inferiority within me, that drove me back even though I was a good academic student. Fear was a part of my life. Fear of failure, made me to back down from several opportunities. A constant feeling of letting other's and myself down forced me to believe that I am just a person without any capacity to conquer my dreams.
But, eventually changes happened. There are many people who believe in us. It is one thing to know them and another to understand them. Somewhere , I do not exactly know where, I began to appreciate myself. I felt the same from other's. From those who love me and believe in me. I know , I have to come back. well it is not easy, but it is also not not achievable.
Still, I am pretty sure that I have not completely unearthed myself. The quest continues. The only thing that I know of sure is, I will never allow myself to fall into the abyss of darkness that swallowed my past. In search of my mind, I dare to think new thoughts, believe new me and attain new heights.
Love You All.... & God Bless.
There was a period in my life where everything was stagnant. Yes, you were living but not living a life. On those days, I always contemplate about the effects of up-bringing on a person's life. I don't believe in perfect childhood, maybe because mine was not. I know that I used to envy other kids, when I see them enjoying things which I never had. Later, I came to understand that ,it's not necessary to have a perfect childhood. What you need is an understanding of why it so happened. I knew I had to change for the better.
That is where my quest to find myself began. I have written a lot during my school days, but I always lacked the courage to show it to others. There was a sense of inferiority within me, that drove me back even though I was a good academic student. Fear was a part of my life. Fear of failure, made me to back down from several opportunities. A constant feeling of letting other's and myself down forced me to believe that I am just a person without any capacity to conquer my dreams.
But, eventually changes happened. There are many people who believe in us. It is one thing to know them and another to understand them. Somewhere , I do not exactly know where, I began to appreciate myself. I felt the same from other's. From those who love me and believe in me. I know , I have to come back. well it is not easy, but it is also not not achievable.
Still, I am pretty sure that I have not completely unearthed myself. The quest continues. The only thing that I know of sure is, I will never allow myself to fall into the abyss of darkness that swallowed my past. In search of my mind, I dare to think new thoughts, believe new me and attain new heights.
Love You All.... & God Bless.
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