Aki 秋

 Aki

In the sleepy and cold mornings, 

With a hint of drowsiness and a cup of chai,

You sit in your balcony and feel the cold breeze.

The early morning sun, smiles at you with a tint of coldness.

Trees sway and rustle,

There are colors every where.

Nature is inviting you to witness the new,

Color spreads as the smile on a kids face.

The changing leaves looks enchanting,

Red and orange,

Enchanting and breathtaking.

The sun is warm, the leaves are warm.

Wherever you go the colors are warm.

There is laughter,

There is life,

There is warmth,

There is love.

This is what Autumn is,

This is how Autumn feels.

With a tint of coldness in the morning,

And an expase of warmth on our minds.

* Aki- In Japanese Language Aki means "Autumn" "秋"

What Matters IS...?

When All That Matters to you Is No More.

What Matters is within you.

When All That Matters to you Is No More

What matters is around you.

When All That Matters to you Is No More

What matters is away from you.

When All That Matters to you Is No More

What matters is never you

When All That Matters to you Is No More

What Matters is….?

And then there was you

And then there was you

In a busy street, under the bright lights,
I stood bewildered.
Watching life, bustling around me,
When all I needed was quiet.

People rushed past me,
Not a glance to spare.

Friends laughed and cracked jokes,
Ignorant of the stares,
When all I wished was to be ignorant as them all.

I wanted to move, but yet I failed.
I wanted to shout, but yet I failed.
I wanted to breathe, but yet I failed.
When all I wished was to feel again.

Time moved on, and here I was,

Still and not moving on.
When I caught my breath,
As I could feel a stare.

Searching for the eyes, I moved.
I pushed through the laughing people,
I pushed through the sweaty workers.
And then I saw the eyes,
And then there was you.

To be continued…

Comfortable.

Comfortable.

I like to be comfortable,
Like the soft whisper of the wind, brushing through your face.
I like to be comfortable,

Like the dripping water of the rain, falling through the petals.
I like to be comfortable,
Like the sound of the pages, of an old bound book,
I like to be comfortable,
Like the sweetness of the tea that stays in your mouth,
I like to be comfortable,
Like the soft mews of the sleeping cat, in the balcony, curled and unaware.
I like to be comfortable,
Like as if you never know how comfortable it is.

When Time Stands Still.

Fast, that is the life.

The life that I am on,

Moving with tremendous speed,

Onward and onwards.

No time for thoughts,

No time for reflections.

No time for  breath,

No time for stillness.

A moment of pause is what I yearn,

A moment of stillness is what I need.

But will I ever learn to be still,

Will I ever learn to breathe.

I will only know,

When Time stands still.

~ prajitha.

The Path

I am here,

At the beginning of different paths, 

Some used some unused, 

Waiting for my beating heart to settle down to its rhythm. 

I look beyond,

Roads crossed, 

Filled with disappointment fear confusion and hatred. 

It was muddy like the river in a storm, 

Unconscious of the consciousness within. 

I look back stunned at the mess of my path, 

Twisted arrays of indescribable design, 

Messed up with numerous footprints. 

Reality crashed down like lightning, 

My wandered soul, begging to rest. 

Strained and used, I stand here, 

Stilled by my thoughts. 

I hear the winds Beckoning, 

Yet I am unsure but also aware. 

Something has been stirred within, 

A view has been cleared. 

I am here, 

At the beginning of different paths, 

Some used some unused. 

My vision getting cleared, 

My determination shines. 

Without fear I stride forward, 

In the path chosen by me, 

To tackle the adventures of life. 

Finding Love...

Few days back , my friend and myself had a very interesting conversation. As usual, we were talking about everything irrelevant, when all of a sudden my friend says,"can you possibly tell me how you believed you were in love with the right person". Now to say I was preoccupied with the question will be an understatement. You see, I am not one who believed in love at first sight, even though I love to read romance novels and watch everything romantic. Neither I was one who had a chance to fall in love before marriage (Yes! Arranged marriage yay!!). So, this was very tricky for me indeed.

This made me realize to the fact that ,people identifies themselves in love in different forms unique to themselves. As my friend said, all it takes, is a moment to recognize and that's all you need. And once the moment goes away, you know you are done for. There is no turning back. You are out there exposed to all that  will be thrown to you. If you are fortunate enough, you will have company or else, you suffer. Well, that is an interesting way to put it out. 

Finding love, is not a task. It is a natural phenomenon. You stay awake all your life, for that one true love, sometimes you get lucky, but sometimes you are very unlucky to even recognize it. Sometimes you get what you envisioned and sometimes you just wish you never had an assumption. But, there is no turning back. All person, at certain point of life, falls for it. Some may be fortunate enough to have a life-long relation for other's it may be good till it lasted and for some it just leave behind painful memories. It gives strength, compassion, recognition, realization, warmth, happiness , acceptance in varying degrees. The "degree" detrmines the longevity, the depth and furthermore the life in love.

So, our conversation, ended in this note " you may be an ignorant, foolish, arrogant selfish soul or you may be a compassionate one. Whatever you are , once you fell in love, it is love only. It is upto you to decide to cherish, accept, own,live for love or to ignore, scorn or make a fool out of yourselves. After all as the old people say "Love is blind" and you have no idea what blindness do to you. 

Signing off...

P.G

Also Love

This poem is not a masterpiece, but an ode to two special people.


I Love You,

Magical words, that swept my feet away,
Sweet as nectar from your lips.
Words that I longed to hear,
From the love of my life.

Queer, as I be, left alone and dejected,
When I laid eyes on you,
My heart stopped and time stood still,
I knew I have found love,
But was too afraid of it.
Filled with doubts and self-pity.
What if, I looks like an idiot,
What if, you are already owned,
What if, you stay away with contempt,
When you know my love.

Doubts, filled my heart,
Breaking it into pieces,
I longed to see your handsome face,
Longed to hold you in my arms,
Longed to stare into those beautiful blue orbs,
That beholds an ocean of emotions.
My lips quivered, my head felt dizzy,
When I see you coming towards me.
Your smile made my heart stop.
Your eyes made my eyes blur.

I knew I was lost, never to return.
Afraid, that my love will never be full filled.
Oh, how I wish, I was not born in this form.
How I wish, I never felt what i feel.
How I wish I was "normal".
But then, you startled me.
Picked me up from my rubble.
You held me in your arms,
You kissed my forehead,
Stared deeply into my heart,
And let out those magical words.

I knew I was blown away,
I knew I was knocked out,
I knew I am lost without hope.
Oh!! Dear, so this is Love,
The terrible heart beats, the heavy breathing,
Lost in time, holding your hand,
Sharing your warmth.

People questioned and I was afraid,
But you held me up and proudly proclaimed;
"You are mine;I am yours".
And all I could do, was to stare wildly,
For your bold words coming deep from your hearts.

I think I received my reason to live,
The reason to love,
The reason to breath,
The reason to die.
I know I am doomed to be lost in your love.
But I warmly welcome it though,
As I gaze lovingly into your eyes,
Savoring all beautiful moments.

I Know Now, This Is Also Love.

I know I should not write this...

It has been a long time since I had sat down to write my words. These days all there is in my life is a constant sense of stagnation. More, precisely,you could say lack of interest in the daily stuffs. Even on the work part, which can be really dangerous,LOL!!

So, what made me to sit up late into this night and suddenly come to blog... This wonderful feeling to put my thoughts into words, just came out so powerfully that there is no way I can hold back. Being a person, who rarely displays their true emotions, sometimes becomes so over whelmed in such a way that one should just pour it out. I am as cold as stone, who clearly do not know how to show affections and lately this has been greatly challenged. I really do admire people who clearly express what they want. Maybe, it was the way I have grown up that made it real hard for me to let out myself. From being a child and growing up, never have I ever clearly stated my likes and dislikes to anyone, not even to my Mother. Maybe because I felt my opinions didn't matter or because I felt that you just do not belong there. That sense of not belonging has been with me for a long time, that one can just never be over with it.

Realizations come pretty quick these days, especially when you are just hit with it on your face.It has not been easy when other's assume what you really want.You can say, it goes something like, "Hey!! I don't give a damn". Yes, it can be me or you can may be , but lately this attitude has indeed created a very dangerous aura that scares people away (which needs to be verified time to time). So , here I am trying to clear it off within myself (even when there are two birds who shouts "Hell No! You are not so").

It is just so depressing to come to a conclusion on how stubborn I am to others and most importantly to myself. Nevertheless, it also clearly make me assure that I truly understand who am I. It sounds exaggerated, fake and idiotic, all the while it is also the truth.

The Way

I wonder why I am like this,
So easily falling to trust,
Your actions your words,
You smile, your eyes.
Then again, what else was there,
In this lonely form,
To be loved and to love,
When you came upon.
The way you smiled,
Gave me pearls,
That glistened on my plain form. 
Who knew, we will come to this.
Only for me to hold on to those beautiful bliss,
It was destined to be mesmerising,

Filled with beautiful memories, 

But alas! The game was changed,

Fate decides upon all, 

Leaving trails of fading distress. 

Lesson On Forgiveness

The only constant childhood memory that rushes into my mind is always one scene. The scene never changes and has been carved into my mind all along. It had a greater impact on shaping the person that I am now.

Being brought up by an alcoholic father was nothing short of terror, especially in our patriarchal society. From the days , I could remember, we dreaded the time when he approaches home. The endless beatings and verbal abuse that was given to my Mother instilled fear and loath into our heart. Being married at the young age of 18, did not give my Mother many options to leave him. She hung on for the sake of us, for the sake of society, as she feared she will never be accepted if she leaves. The fear for the future of our lives, gave her strength to endure the pain and suffering for years.

I remember questioning her on why she is not taking the courage to leave and was silenced by the painful look she gave me. I knew then and there that she had taken the decision to bear the sufferings and nothing could deter her from there. The only thing that she wanted was our safe future and for that she forgot to look after her-self.

As, we grow , she found her voice coming back. She gained some strength the day , I stood up to face my Father, Of course, I was offered all the beatings but that day she realized , she needs to move on and stand up for herself.

The path was not easy, but she made small strides towards self improvement. Time is the biggest wizard. Eight months into my marriage, my Father fell down with paralysis, making him completely depended on my Mother. Of course, people advised her to leave him in some nursing home and to live her life , but she didn't. The words my Mother told me that day, will be etched in my heart for ever, "Yes my dear, he has wronged me, abused me, but I Forgive him!! The person right now in front of me is only a human in need of help."

It changed my life. The bitterness that I had carried all along to my Father, to relatives, to friends and to everyone. The power of her forgiveness, gave me strength to forgive myself.

I know, there are many individuals like me , who has gone through some sort of abusive child hood. All I have to say to them is only one and one thing , please forgive yourself and heal within. There are no storms that do not pass. Ultimately, we all will see light at the end . You are a survivor and you will always survive.